i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
People in love make me want to vomit
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do herpes really smell.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
