im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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