1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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