Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
