BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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