And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
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I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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