Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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