The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
