I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
