This is not my ceiling
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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