Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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