he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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