If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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