you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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