I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
