I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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