Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My ass is underappreciated
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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