I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
