Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
