Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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