I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
