i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize