Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
