I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
