i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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