I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm drive I can fine osifer
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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