I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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