i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Barsexuality is the new black.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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