dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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