That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
