The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
