D3 body, D1 cock
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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