Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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