i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
