he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
