just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
