U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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