even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
