You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
