Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize