I just saw a hot homeless man
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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