he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
