im about as happy as oj after his trial
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
