Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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