doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
