I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
