just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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