Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
