i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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