How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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