Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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