o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
