I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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