Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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