Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
