im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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