when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize