Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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