Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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