It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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