Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
