my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
