You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We need a shit load of segways right now
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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