Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
