My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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