You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
